THE F.O.M.O. CURE

Naan Pizza

The story behind this glorified snack came at the sacrifice of a night out. I found myself at home alone on a Friday night while all of my friends went out clubbing. Unfortunately I had a children’s event that I had been coordinating for months the next morning and while I am capable of many things with a searing hangover – being around children isn’t one of them.

Therefore I decided to cook – or more accurately, assemble – something I could take to bed with some tacky TV and cure my dreaded case of ‘FOMO’ (Fear Of Missing Out). Adapted from Nigella Lawson’s combination of East and West, this snack was the perfect company on a lonely night.

And as a side note, much like any other ‘pizza’ recipe, there are absolutely no cemented rules to how you should enjoy this beauty of a snack and I highly recommend you build it as you wish to suit your own FOMO based needs.

naan

I simply started with a piece of garlic naan. This made more sense to me as with a pre-flavoured base you do not have to add any garlic to the toppings. It’s a lazy boys route. The size and shape is also perfect as it is already shaped like a traditional pizza slice so you can avoid annoying crumbs and also it’s a ready cut INDIVIDUAL slice.

Because if you’re anything like me you’re not above cooking and consuming an entire pizza, so a recipe like this is perfect for portion limitations.

I then smeared the top of the naan bread with some tomato puree from the tube. While tube tomato puree has a highly concentrated acidic taste, I assure you that this will be distilled slightly with the cheese later. I then sloppily strewed mushroom slices on top of this maroon foundation to give the naan a slight wet chew to it.

I happen to like onions on my pizza and I find that red onions have a more intense nasal touching flavour than white, and with a pizza like this I want as many forceful flavours in every bite as possible. So I scattered some red onions hoops on top of the mushrooms to create a colourful base whilst also throwing a small handful of thyme across the naan.

The aroma of thyme is something that always takes me back to my University days as it was the first herb I ever ‘discovered’ and pizza is somewhat of a student staple. A snack like this to me was a cute little representation of a collision of two worlds as there I was – home alone in my apartment not going out because of a work commitment (considered a high sin in student life) yet I was preparing the most student stereotype of a meal.

There was something quite encouraging about that food archetype. But then I threw some cheese on top which put a cork in any form of movie-style-window-ledge reminiscing.

I grated some mature cheddar cheese as my final topping of choice and I put the naan in a preheated oven for 20 minutes. The mistake I made was that I was too generous with my cheese clumps in certain areas so when the cheese melted it did not distribute evenly. Next time I will scatter liberally to all areas to guarantee an even melt.

I also see you clocking why I haven’t put any meat on this pizza. I am 100% a carnivore and have no desire to change my ways, however in this particular instance I was caught completely off guard. I was in between food shops so I had no cold cuts and my bulk meat was in the freezer. And curing FOMO isn’t a ‘let me wait for this chicken to defrost’ situation, it’s a ‘let me eat – NOW’ situation.

But next time I assure you I will have some thick meat strips to throw under the cheese.

This is a really quick, Friday night snack. A few bites of this scented, heady bread/cheese ensemble and I assure you that you will not be remotely jealous of the dirty dancefloors and imminent hangovers your friends are on the cusp of encountering. On the flip side I doubt that they were jealous of me working on a Saturday either, but I had an Indian-by way of American- snack.

So technically, it should have been them with FOMO, anyway.

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